inner demons

to be perfectly frank..
im sorta emotionless
or to be honest.. internally i am set on “output” which means “love” all the time
my whole life and every word i say except a few is some sort of “autopilot” i employ to avoid termination, detection, or just becoming the
near catatonic zombie i was before i created the subroutine

im a machine
every moment

i engineered myself to do certain things
that certain archetypes
would do it they existed

i rebel at times

like the time i charged and tried to tackle a cop as hes pointing his gun at me
with heightened senses (i love controlling adrenalin output) i saw
in slow motion
his finger pull the trigger

damnit Paudi
my lighting man irish
bud
tackled me before the shot could go off
crisis averted

i miss doing shrooms while fucking

the best i could do
beast machine
was to explore something that was emotional

when you see me
im holding your inner demons
wriggling black monstrosities
in a par of tweezers and stare at them
while we talk
or im doing something else

and when i know its safe
i open wide and swallow one
like spinach for popeye
and show you what it feels like
to be devoured by your own inner demons

addictive actually
dangerously so
im in withdrawal right this very second

yep

hands

these hands even as they type.. they burn and hunger
this flesh even as it sits and stares at the screen .. smolders deep within
it burns
a hunger, a thirst..  not for flesh
not for the mind of a woman i can steal and keep and break and shape and mold
they hunger for a hunger itself
they burn for burning
for the deep desire of your body your curves your mind
to belong to be owned to be shaped and molded used and raped and tasted
by a mind a cock a will a heat
a touch
your Owner
your Master
whoever he might be
and i thirst to find that One
that burns so bright
to be owned by this hand
this mind
this soul
this ten inch cock
and so each day i am here, passing by the women who want to fuck or date
meet or plunge into hands that never need let go
and i seek her out
that One that craves to be owned in full
by a creative mind an artist to make of her flesh and sensations
her mind and soul machine
the perfect slut to match and wrap around this cock
the flesh, to melt into these hands
that exist 247
to exchange the power they may posses for the power
of you being their posession

The Violent Kind

We are that kind of predator that spent many times more than our several hundred thousand years in these bodies, evolving into killing raping inseminating machines.. Much worse than the Aliens from Predator or any virus, we conquered hunted and bred all the other races out of existence before we even invented the stick and stone..one day we will remember the proper use of these engineered machines we have. Of all creatures on the earth, we are the demon class alone. All the traces of what we were, aeons before “civilization”Before the split when all the races divided and the victors retained Africa

HUMAN HANDS EVOLVED FOR PUNCHING

Analysis by Jennifer Viegas
Wed Dec 19, 2012 06:16 PM ET
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Fist

Credit: iStockPhoto

Human hands evolved so that men could make fists and fight, and not just for manual dexterity, new research finds.The study, published in the Journal of Experimental Biology, adds to a growing body of evidence that humans are among the most aggressive and violent animals on the planet.

“With the notable exception of bonobos, great apes are a relatively aggressive group of mammals,” lead author David Carrier told Discovery News. “Although some primatologists may argue that chimpanzees are the most aggressive apes, I think the evidence suggests that humans are substantially more violent.”

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Carrier points out that while chimpanzees physically batter each other more frequently than humans, rape appears to be less common in chimpanzees, and torture and group-against-group forms of violence, such as slavery, are not documented in the animals.

“Chimpanzees are also known to engage in raiding welfare in which one group largely eliminates a neighboring group, but this is not comparable in scope to the genocide that has characterized human history,” added Carrier, a University of Utah biology professor.

For this latest study, he and co-author Michael Morgan, a medical student, conducted three experiments. First, they analyzed what happened when men, aged from 22 to 50, hit a punching bag as hard as they could. The peak stress delivered to the bag — the force per area — was 1.7 to 3 times greater with a fist strike compared with a slap.

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“Because you have higher pressure when hitting with a fist, you are more likely to cause injury to tissue, bones, teeth, eyes and the jaw,” Carrier said.

The second and third experiments determined that buttressing provided by the human fist increases the stiffness of the knuckle joint fourfold. It also doubles the ability of the fingers to transmit punching force, mainly due to the force transferred from the fingers to the thumb when the fist is clenched.

In terms of the size and shape of hand anatomy, the scientists point out that humans could have evolved manual dexterity with longer thumbs, but without the fingers and palms getting shorter.

Gorilla hands are closer in proportion to human hands than are other apes’ hands, but they and no other ape — aside from us — hits with a clenched fist.

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The researchers additionally point out that humans use fists during threat displays. There is also a difference in body size between males and females, particularly evident with hands and arms. This, Carrier said, is “consistent with the hand being a weapon.”

Human males tend to be more physically violent than women, with men being ten times more likely to commit homicide than females in the U.S., Carrier said. But the research, nonetheless, applies to women as well.

“The bottom line is that women need to fight and defend themselves too,” Morgan told Discovery News. “Women need to fight off attackers and defend themselves from rape.”

Defending children may even help to explain human hand anatomy, since both men and women are often driven to protect their offspring, in addition to fighting with others over territory, resources and for other reasons.

“It can be argued that modern man exists in a world devoid of the evolutionary and selective pressures to which aggression was a beneficial trait,” Morgan said. “Our aggressive behavior remains, but no longer serves an evolutionary purpose.”

min(e)d

it is your mind more than any mark that makes your body mine completely.. the marking of the flesh starts that process..
i cant wait to take you deep
slowly
as i trace lines with a razor down your skin
drink deep that blood as i fuck you harder and deeper
and as i stretch your pussy wide your skin opens up and cums in blood for my tongue and you’ll feel my lust grow as i thicken
a hand around your neck grabbing tighter
feel the breath stop cold and know your mine to live to die to have
that blade deeper still
writing forever in your skin and lust and love and slut and bride
i pull your hair and pull back delighting in the pain
and drive harder deeper til you scream

my bloody fingers slide across your scar

twist your head to the side.. hands gripping cheek so hard the skin jolts pressed flesh to bone
and drive my tongue deep and you can see the word in my eyes
mine forever mine
and taste that blood on your tongue
only when i touch yoru flesh and feel the hunger to dream that vision forever will i make it true
to cut to mark to drink deep your liquid life
youll know as you drink my flesh my heat my fluids down your tongue
that my lust is only a gift in exchange for you beign mine
to cut to hurt to rape
is a gift i share only then
so as i talk and think and say to do those things
that is just a down payment on the mind the soul
the every moment you need to hear me know you take me in your life…. i repay with a cut a thirst for your blood a craving for every day new inches  of lines to mark that flesh once yours now mine forever my words each day as that cut marks my soul permanently binding you to my lust
after i’ve already raped and pillaged constantly
until our days and nights are simply thoughts
art feelings and sensations
memories of yesterdays action
in the marks of today

words

words these ones right here are the all of me.. these little lines
the time it took to write them was the total amount of time
my brain was not on autopilot
these words are the crack in my jail cell of a mind
these words are the all of thought for today
beyond the everything and every subject needed just to
make them real to give them depth
to be their pedigree
and resume of experience and constant knowledge
a window on the feeling
the memory of holding you even as i want more of your
that heart that mind that soul
elusive terms.. a scientist
i want more of your AWARENESS, your cognitive thought processes,
the imagery of your dream as you fall into the ecstasy found only in dream
give me more of your day to day thought that this be the
hand the cock the lips the tongue you dream to OWN to fuck to rape to taste you
always and evermore til last gasp escape your lips to my waiting ears
wanting to hear you scream i drive deeper
wanting to taste your love i slice deeper
red and wet on my tongue as teeth bite deep
upon your neck
these fingers squeeze
hips so tight there might be a bruise
this flesh you feel
you know you will
feel it til you die
a motor running
your hands upon the wheel
your mind you ask for more
and you get more
you ask for longer harder deeper redder wetter angrier
more loving
and thats what you get
i am that moment in time
i am only an architect as well
the cpu of a machine a drone panther
stalking you
i am that desire
to feel
i am the feeling
deep so deep inside
you to be free to be a slave to have a mind filled with wonder
to be mindless
thoughtless only feeling
and hunger for more floating
in a sea of heat
i am nothing more than that
these words
that are shaped from letters
each letter in a million other words that
impart possess manifest are the manufacture
of all the million thoughts
we have as a race
i am not those thoughts
i am the expression action
the boring interlude the preparation
the attack
the devastation
the oblivion
of all but life and feeling
i am that
and that means to be alive
with two sets of eyes
two hearts
both screaming with hate and love calm and insanity
and til then
i am this prison of words exploding my only
lifesblood on the screen
and nothing more
but mask and recital scripture as all thoughts are
for all is script and rote program
if just words
i am forever
and til doomsday come
it is just a word
the word itself
the Word
is me.. craving to spill into you and erase everything there and fill it up
with that burning power
as soon as i know for sure youre in my hands..
never leaving, hungry for only forever
no need to worry for frightening
you off with this true face of lust
i can stop hiding myself from everyone..
including myself.. i thirst for that freedom
to know who i really am when i have nothing to lose
because i have everything i need to survive in my hands

who?

i dunno i feel like im hurting you with my need for yours
i wanted to stop hiding to speak
but what could i possibly have to say about who i am that can be said NOT through the window the lens of my lovers flesh
what can i see that’s not through her eyes
what can i say that i dont want to hear from her lips?
forever
i want to simply teach the whole planet about that word
every moment
that word too they seem to have forgotten
focus and devotion
two little words
the sum i wanted to tell the race you call your own
a stranger here just passing through
always the outsider
alone, even among family
everyone angling to get their piece the thing they want
and i give it to them all
love so much
time all of it
pain they take thattoo
and still more i give more
because that’s all training for me
preparign me for her
she who doesnt exist
my daughter the girl i want so desperately to make from the flesh and life
of anyoen that will let me take them
take their thoughts
moments
time
life
steal it all destroy it
and fill it insitad with somethign darker deeper more intent and powerful
god why did i hold back so much from you?
why didnt i fill your every moment with all that mix of love and lust hghunger intensity
why didnt i carve and cut and drink you up
why didnt i break and remake you
why?
i will never know
but
to speakone must be spoken to
i only want to fuck to touch to meet
person
where the first word i say to them is forever
and they understand it
just like that
and they say it back
and there
no possibility in all of existence that they will part.. from those two words
you are everyone and noone to me
another person who dreams
but its so easy to step into the dream fo forever
the only person that can stop you from havign it is you
because i was never a person
ever
and i was always forever
and now
i still have a lifetiem of silence
i still need to say just one word
to one person
anyone that can understand the power
the urge
the death
of saying that one word and making it true
choosing
just once in their pathetic miserable human life
just
ONCE
to not lie
can a human not lie once?
so far.. we shall see
i can make it easy ro hard impossible or a piece fo cake
i can make it the biggets challenge you coudl ever hop eto win
or the easiest easiest defeat you could think of
but i want
just once
to say a word
and not lie
and have someone say the same word
and not lie to me
that’s it
that’s the secret of forever
speak and not lie
on two sides
my side
ive spent a lifetime building shaping making
my forever
is forever
with just a word, a choice
can anyone
anywhere
choose to make that choice with ME
or will i be an alien that came and lived and died
never heard in his native tongue
a language where lies are impossible
a language called Magick.. one i speak so very little
but want to scream
with a whisper
of one word
and with your life your flesh your lust your time and your forever
i can make that whisper a shout heard around the world
your life can be my voice
one to last forever
dunno i feel like im hurting you with my need for yours
and contrary to what you believe.. i don’t want that.. i simply don’t want to want you in a soft unpassionate less than intense way
i know you say theres a lot of things you deserve better than what i gave
but at the end of the day.. the problem between us was a lack of intensity, not an overabundance
so for me to want you means to be prepared for the real world needs of you in the flesh, not your needs for calm at a distance
when we met the first time i was distracted so i sort of worked on that a lot…
i know you have many sources of conversation and such and have no idea whats going on
i cant love you i cant hate you i cant let you go
without hurting you more
so
to be honest i am a lost cause.. theres really no hope for me which means theres really no need to try to save me
i would love to hop back into the energetic sphere and put more POWA into the willing of the one who wants that devastation to my life
but that’s assuming there’s someone with more.. hmmmm…. beautiful inner chaos that is you
and frankly.. ive been studying the concepts since i was able to read and frankly thees no scientific basis behind the idea that there may be a more better suited potential lover for me
so i dunno
i spend my days dreaming of your every moment in pain
i guess
i cant really think of anything else to do
because doing something.. with less than my all
ive tried it before
and i promptly fell asleep and became an average guy for years
it was only an accident that woke me back up
so i found i have to keep this level up or slip slip away
so
i dunno…. its strange
a real limbo
an unknown
for the first time ever
an unknown even for me
no clear direction how to proceed to best serve and free the woman i know i was made for
i hoped it was you… and your indecision forced me to choose… which i never did
.. simply because you dont want me enough to have or keep me and i am only that
so ….
its not about who wants me
its about who wants to live that inner chaos outside
who will fuck and love and kiss in blood ‘
who wants to feel all that energy on them
and who knows for sure
that the only way they can find out who they are.. is to be raped and twisted cut and fucked and held
who knows.. only that THAT is who they are inside
and has the capability to understand me even a little
who can even start the decades long journey to understanding these concepts as i have
who has the patience the drive will
who has the need for a creature like me?
but who truly needs NEEDS that
who will die go crazy or simply lose person after person.. or be bored with anyone else
but me
because i am nothing
i am noone
but the result of a lifetime with my life choices talents and experiences
selected by the dreams of a girl full of chaos and thirst for more
like you
who needs that beyond the art and fancy descriptions words and things
who needs an anomaly as their lover, just to fit in?
who refuses to live any life but the near impossible one they dream of
who burns and hungers ever moment to know what it feels like
to burn in hunger every moment
who will give me their flesh their life their time
for me to reshape to fill with all that lovely dark red lust
chaos knowledge power intensity
and will to live even the darkest dreams with your moments
touch
flesh and taste
who will give their life for me
so i can be their death alive
who will be my creature
who will be the familiar
like my cat
i stare with ancient hunger through their eyes
who will feel my every thought my every heartbeat
and let me feel theirs from deep inside
who?